by Barbara Whitaker

Everything's changed. What you must know-and do-to protect yourchild.

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Remember sitting by the phone, waiting for a boy to call and ask for a date?Then waiting for him to come to the house to pick you up? Well, get overit-dating is different now. "Even the concept of dating is outdated,"says Beth-Marie Jelsma, a psychotherapist in Rochester, New York.

Kids still start pairing off around the same age (between 12 and 14, with moreserious relationships usually reserved for the later teen years), and parentsstill worry about them experimenting with sex. But these days, there's evenmore reason for concern. "Kids almost seem to be running the basesbackward," says Marisa Nightingale, of the National Campaign to PreventTeen Pregnancy, referring to the new sexuality. How do you help your childnavigate this complicated world? The first step is to understand it.

Teens go out in groups

The groups themselves aren't necessarily a problem-they give teens theopportunity to develop friendships with lots of people, and they take away thestrangeness that kids might feel when they're alone on a date. But peerpressure can be much stronger in a group. If a lot of kids are doing somethingquestionable, the few who feel it's wrong may have trouble speaking up. That'swhere you come in: Be sure to talk to your child often about what yourexpectations are, whether they concern sex or drinking or relationships. Andask your teen to think about what she would do if she weren't in a group, saysSabrina Weill, author of The Real Truth About Teens and Sex. "Say to her,¡®If nobody was drinking a beer, would you? If nobody your age was having sex,would you?'"

Kids have sex in the afternoon

Teens aren't pairing off just in the evening; they're also hanging outtogether right after school. The hours between 3:00 and 6:00 p.m., when manyparents are still at work, are prime time for trouble. Researchers at the RANDCorporation have found that teens are more likely to have sex when there isless after-school supervision. So if your daughter is home when you're not,show up unexpectedly on occasion or ask a friendly neighbor to check up onher.