When Simon D'Arcy's wife, Sharon, got pregnant, so did he. He didn't havemorning sickness, mood swings or a growing belly, but the transformation hefaced was just as intense, and it took him the full nine months to prepare.

"The whole thing is so huge -- emotionally, psychologically, physically,spiritually. I don't think there's a larger identity change for a man, or for awoman, for that matter," says D'Arcy, a management consultant in SantaBarbara, Calif. "It just doesn't get the same attention because we're notthe ones gaining 30 pounds and throwing up."

A new generation of fathers is being born. Gone are the legendary souls whopaced hospital waiting rooms, cigars in hand, and -- heaven forbid -- changed asolitary diaper over the course of a weekend. Like D'Arcy, these dads want tobe involved, not just with the birth, but afterward.

Breaking new ground isn't easy, of course. But there are plenty of dads likeD'Arcy to prove it can be done. Becoming fathers in the new millennium meansstretching beyond comfort zones, finding role models for support andencouragement, and not settling for those lingering myths about fatherhood.

Myth No. 1: Pregnancy Is Just a Chick Thing

When Christopher Mosio, a cinematographer in Santa Barbara, and his wife,Jennifer Louden, discovered they were pregnant, they were both excited andnervous. Yet he admits the pregnancy didn't present quite the same immediacyfor him, especially in the beginning.

"It wasn't my body changing," Mosio says. "I could go off duringthe day and forget about it for a while, whereas Jennifer carried it aroundconstantly." Louden is author of "The Pregnant Woman's ComfortBook."

Such differences in how men and women physically experience pregnancy canoften lead to misunderstandings, experts say. They can also perpetuate the myththat pregnancy is mostly the woman's turf. Often it's not until men feel thebaby kick, see a sonogram or witness other tangible signs that reality sets in,typically a trimester behind the woman.

"Women often perceive that men aren't as excited as they are because ittakes longer for them to get connected since it's not in their bodies,"says Deborah Issokson, a licensed psychologist in Boston who specializes inperinatal mental health. "So much of the pregnancy is kind of quiet untilwomen start showing or the baby starts moving."

The truth is, men experience many of the same sorts of anticipation andworries as women, says Armin Brott, author of "The Expectant Father,""Throwaway Dads" and "The Single Father." Not only do studiesshow that some men experience physical symptoms, like nausea and mood swings,but they, too, worry about the kind of parents they'll be, how their personaland professional lives will change and whether they're up to thechallenges.